Indy Jones And The Plastic Toy Head

The family headed out as a group to see the latest installment of the Indiana Jones story entitled, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull".

What a mouthful that one is.

First, I have to admit, that I have not been a fan of this series. I thought the first one was over-the-top and entirely unbelievable. It was just an effects movie for the sake of effects and while my view of it has softened over time, I still don't think too much of it. The second one is considered the weakest one and yet I kind of liked it more than the first even though I didn't like it all that much either. The third movie I did enjoy. Sean Connery really made the movie.

This one pretty much fell entirely flat for me. I see it as no better than any of the others in the series and really wonder what the hell George Lucas was thinking. I still find it hard to believe people go for these kinds of movies. His dialogue is always hideous and the stories are continually full of plot holes big enough to drive a tank through them.

Harrison Ford did a better job with this than I really thought he'd be able to do. It's very much time for him to be more in the Sean Connery role than in the lead here. Cate Blanchett, as much as I love her in most things, was dull. I saw one reference to her role coming out like Natasha from "Bullwinkle" fame and I have to agree. She was pretty lifeless, a caricature and just not memorable overall. It was nice to see Karen Allen again but it seems she was written in as and afterthought. She gets a couple goofy lines and most of them are entirely predictable. That's about it for her. I like Shia LeBeouf generally but not here at all. First there's his big entrance where they wanted to get him looking like Marlon Brando for some unknown and completely distracting reason. Second, he just wasn't right for the part in my view. This is Indy's kid? He's the one Lucas has suggested can take over the franchise assuming it moves forward? I just don't see it. I'm sure he was honored to get chosen for this role but I really wish he turned it down. It made him look ridiculous.

And what the heck was the deal with John Hurt? Does he really need the money that badly that he'd agree to walk around like a raving lunatic for 9/10's of the movie? Then there's Ray Winstone who I absolutely love, but again, felt he should have skipped this one. His character is so predictable it's a waste of paper to have bothered to script him in. We're supposed to buy that he and Indy has some sort of significant history that has bonded them as friends but it just doesn't work. We don't care and we're not surprised.

The story is a complete mess and entirely forgettable. In typical Lucas fashion there are questions. Oh, so many. For starters, how is it that human protectors managed to sit dormant, locked in stone seemingly forever, only to materialize magically through thick rock at the first sign of Indy? Even more confusing is that they point out others had been there before and yet the rock faces were clearly undisturbed for a millenia before this point. Don't dig too deep or you keep running into these issues.

Then there's the so-called crystal skull that looked anything but crystal. When Jones pulls it from its hiding spot for the first time I thought, "That's the focus of the movie? A plastic toy skull?" It looks like a clear plastic skull with aluminum foil crunched up inside it. What's more is that it's supposed to be so magnetized that it pulls metal from all around it, except only once in a while, when the plot seems to need it to do so. I still can't really tell you what the movie was about, other than making money for those involved.

For me the best thing about this movie experience was that I didn't have any recurrance of last week's shenanigans with brainless twits texting or taking calls. Of course it helped that we saw the movie at 11am when only about a third of the theater was full.

At least it looks like our pickings should improve dramatically over the coming weeks. The previews continue to look more impressive than the current options.

Now That's What I Call Progress....

We've been informed by a number of sources, including Vice President Dick Cheney, that no one has given up more in this war on terrorism than our own President George W. Bush. The poor guy has had to sacrifice so much because of this on-going war.

The latest casualty in this battle for him is a major one. He's gone public with the stunning news that, as a result of the war, he's given up golf.

Said Bush, “I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.”

“I remember when [Sergio] de Mello, who was at the U.N., got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man's life,” Bush says. “I was playing golf — I think I was in central Texas — and they pulled me off the golf course and I said, ‘It's just not worth it anymore to do.’"

Now hopefully the terrorists see his sacrifice and realize this whole thing has just gone too far. I wonder if they have golf counseling to deal with the grief this must cause?

Iron Man and the Cell Phone Man

Yesterday the entire family went out together to see, "Iron Man" starring Robert Downey Jr. As is the case with a lot of the Marvel and D.C. superhero movies, not being a comic book fan, I'm not all that familiar with most of the non-A-list characters. I'd never heard of Iron Man prior to the hoopla that surrounded the making of the movie.

To be frank, I hadn't planned to even bother with this until it got a 96 on Rotten Tomatoes. Of course that high a rating has been the kiss of death for a number of recent (and not-so-recent) movies for me. Regardless, we saw it all the same.

The movie is very similar in feel to the remake, "Batman Begins". The first half of the movie goes into great, and compelling, detail about how the Iron Man comes about. The movie is able to poke fun at itself without going overboard and also handles the story seriously without taking it too seriously. That's not the easiest thing in the world to balance. The second half is loaded with exceptional action and special effects. The flying sequences are quite spectacular.

Everyone in the movie does a solid job. Downey Jr. has always been a brilliant actor and here he proves to be a perfect fit. The two other noteworthy participants are played by Gweneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges. Bridges was a bit interesting as it was a bit shocking to see him so gray in the beard and so bald on top. While I'm sure that's a shave job, it still made him look ancient and I'm just not ready for an ancient Jeff Bridges yet.

Be sure to stay past the credits for an additional short scene. In the end the entire lot of us really enjoyed the movie. It's great fun and I look very forward to the next inevitable installment.

We saw the movie at a theater we rarely get to. For Christmas a family member got us a gift certificate to Regal Cinemas. Thankfully there's one down the road from my in-laws so we decided this would be a good chance to finally use the card as we'd be visiting for Mother's Day.

It's not my favorite theater and, compared to my local favorite theater, generally has a less mature audience. On the plus side, the theater was nearly empty for this particular early showing. There were only about 18 people in all. Ironically enough the previews were loaded with reminders to turn off all cell phones. We actually thought it was a bit overdone. I should have realized there was a reason for it. About half-way through the movie a father sitting next to his young son, off to my left in the row in front of us, took out his cell phone and started texting someone. He then proceeded to keep it up for roughly 10 minutes when I finally had my fill. I walked up behind his seat, leaned down and said, "Excuse me but could you please put your cell phone away. We're trying to watch the movie." His response was, "What? This is bothering you?" When I told him it was he said, "Go sit down. This isn't bothering you." I then asked again and noted that if he didn't turn it off I'd involve the authorities for causing a public disturbance. To that he started to rise from his chair and clench his fist. It was then that I realized this guy was LARGE. Thankfully about halfway through the process of turning to face me, he looked at his son and thought the better of it. He sat down saying, "Don't walk up behind me like that again." I reminded him of where I was sitting and said that I really didn't have much of an option with regard to how I approached him.

I have no doubt that had his son not been there, we'd have had an all-out brawl right there in the theater. This sort of lack of common decency has got to stop. When is it going to sink in with people that texting is no better than getting or taking a call and often is worse? You're sitting in a DARK theater people with a device that is back-lit with a bright light that illuminates your entire area and can be seen throughout the whole theater. I seriously thought about pelting the guy with popcorn and then when he complained respond by saying, "Oh, you mean this is distracting? I'd have never guessed that." In fact, I'm thinking that theater goers should start a campaign of this type. If some people are going to be so rude as to interrupt us we should all start pelting them with harmless popcorn until they get the point. Let's start a new trend of our own.