I No Longer Believe

Oh yeah.... Almost forgot..... This past weekend we also saw the new X-Files movie, "The X-Files: I Want To Believe". The less said about the experience the better.

Step Brothers Doesn't Reach The Landing

Friday brought me back to the local theater to see "Step Brothers". It's the latest film from Judd Apatow starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. As I've mentioned before, I've had some pretty good luck with past Apatow films. They can be silly but they're usually good for some dependable laughs and a decent story.

Not so here. First, the previews are misleading. This isn't an Apatow film. It's from some of the same people responsible for past Apatow films but Judd wasn't at the head of this one and it shows.

Step Brothers has some funny moments including a few really hilarious moments but it mostly falls flat. The jokes feel like disjointed skits tossed together in almost random fashion. The underlying story is both weak and entirely unbelievable. You just can't put it out of your mind long enough to enjoy the shenanigans. I'd watch some of this on cable but I think I'd even think I wasted that investment let alone spending over $9 to see it in a theater.

The Dark Mamma

This weekend we saw both of the "big" movies. First up was, "The Dark Knight" (the latest Batman movie) and then I saw the movie version of, "Mamma Mia". I cannot imagine a more diametrically opposed set of movies. However, what's interesting is that Mamma Mia is selling out here right alongside the huge sellouts for Batman. I've never seen the local theater so packed.

The Dark Knight is the latest Batman movie and second for Christian Bale. Bale now owns the Batman role entirely though I still have serious reservations about the forced voice he uses to play the character. It's simply distracting. This chapter of the story is aptly named. The movie is dark throughout. It bears very little resemblance to the first Bale effort and that concerned me initially. It's not that the first one wasn't dark--quite the contrary. However, the first was more a story involving back story where this one isn't held back by needing to explain everything that has come before.

I'm pretty sure this will be viewed, for the most part, as superior to the first movie. For me it was a mixed bag. I'm not a typical superhero fan. The first movie told a story that gave the superhero a grounding in reality. This incarnation comes with a lot more action and standard superhero activities.

The big talk of the film is, of course, the job Health Ledger has done as The Joker. I was a bit concerned by all the pre-movie hype regarding the job he did. It seemed to only materialize once Ledger died and I didn't want to posthumously hand the guy an award simply for having died. Ledger is being lauded as a master of the art and yet I still can see him in some pretty awful roles. As a result I did my best to go into the movie with balanced expectations. He blew them all away. Every ounce of accolade is deserved. His Joker portrayal is a sight to be seen. It makes you realize just how ridiculous Jack Nicholson's performance was in an earlier film. Ledger's Joker is repleat with humanity--sick, twisted, real humanity. It frankly makes the rest of the film work overtime just trying to keep within the same realm of quality.

I had a few downs. I really let out a sigh during a scene that seemed clipped right out of any of the mid-era James Bond movies. This had Morgan Freeman playing the role of Q to Christian Bale's Bond. It was just distracting. I also couldn't get into Gary Oldman's storyline with the Gordon character.

This is all minor compared to the rest of the movie. It includes some tremendous special effects and today that's no small feat. It also does a great job of setting the table for another film. The problem, of course, is that no one will be able to portray The Joker now. Not sure what they can do about that.

The other movie was Mamma Mia. I'm not a big attendee of plays but did see Mamma Mia on Broadway and loved every minute of it. I found it every bit as captivating as "Phantom of the Opera". However, I also like the music of ABBA and have always felt that they'd never gotten their due.

When I heard a movie was coming I was entirely skeptical. How could it possibly compare with the stage play? Then I heard the lead role was going to Meryl Streep and I nearly decided to give the movie a pass. I love Streep but I couldn't see her carrying the singing for this. Other choices seemed just as suspect.

Then the movie started and I forgot all of my reservations. I cannot recall any other movie where I spent so much continous time smiling that my cheeks ached by the end. This is the feel-good movie of the year. The story is light but still mesmerizing. The ballads are perfectly suited to the story and do wonders to give ABBA the respect their music deserves. No other library of songs from a single artist could cover this much territory so effortlessly.

You could hear people singing and clapping throughout the theater. It slides into your imagination and gets everyone involved.

There are a couple oddities. I believe Pierce Brosnan is a much better actor than some people think and he's great here too. However, he doesn't sing well here. I have seen him sing well in another movie but not here. It's so distinct that when he first sings everyone in the theater does a bit of gasp and then the chuckles start but that's forgotten pretty quickly.

Meryl Streep is just flat-out amazing. She looks great in this and with an okay voice manages to own the material she covers. Her rendition of "The Winner Takes It All" is just amazing. Not only does she carry the tune but her acting during it is just incredible. She deserves an Oscar nomination every bit as much as Health Ledger. Mamma Mia is a beautiful, funny, enjoyable film that is every bit the equal of the stage show.

I did note that either my memory is off or the movie opted to swap in a couple different tunes from the stage version. Both work well here. Also the movie is able to do some things the play couldn't given the open canvas of the set. I can see a few boyfriends and husbands griping about this but most everyone else should love it and I suspect it would make a great romantic date.

No, I said "Saganist"....

Religion is a hot topic for just about everyone. In my life it hasn't cast what others would see as a large shadow on my own life. However, that's not quite the full story. In fact, I do feel that I have a religion and have come to call myself a Saganist. Of course I've also found that explaining this to others comes with several hurdles including the obvious one of people being certain I just told them that I'm a "Satanist" which would be something entirely different in my view.

Thankfully I'm not a Satanist so then what is a Saganist? Well, first you need to know that it's not that I have any sort of pre-determined dislike for organized religions. That said, I have grown cynical of quite a few of them based on my own experiences, world history and the nightly news reports of their various actions. For me it's really been a case of not finding the right fit. God has always had a role to play in my life even if I couldn't really put a "face" to what God means to me or what shape such a power takes on.

In my youth there was a park up the road and I would spend hours laying at the base of a tree looking up through its leaves into the sky and think about the universe and how it all must work. Over time I got to the point where I could just look up and realize there was a God. I could look into a child's face and see God. I could look at a stream and see God. I could see God in a thunderstorm. I could smell God on a snowy mountain. Where I couldn't see God was in fire, or a car wreck or, more importantly, in a prayer.

This left me with quite a problem. When I would research various religions each one would ultimately fall short in my mind. It would be full of dogma and require such leaps of faith that I simply was not prepared to make. What's more is that each of these religions demanded that I see God in everything good and bad. The latter struck me as a bit of a cop-out to be quite honest. The phrase, "God works in mysterious ways" has never seemed genuine to me. It simply seemed a way for people to defuse blame where either blame could not clearly be placed or where it didn't want to be.

So that left me in a continual state of flux. I couldn't find something that fit and those who had claimed to find it would often try to hit me with the faith argument. Then I came upon the works of Carl Sagan.

For those too young to remember, Carl Sagan was a noted astronomer. In his days astronomers were pretty quiet people. They did research and pretty much avoided the spotlight. Sagan was quite different. He had a unique passion for astronomy and wanted to share his love with the rest of the world and set out to do just that. What really set Sagan apart was that even though his dialogue could betray a clearly brilliant and complex mind, he was able to articulate his wonder of the universe to any layman he encountered. He would show up on the old Tonight Show and mesmerize audiences with his discussion of the stars and the worlds beyond ours. He also could plant a seed of curiosity in others and get them to think about the universe in new ways or, at the least, for the first time.

Then came his most noted achievement--Cosmos. Cosmos was a TV series that appeared on PBS stations and simply exploded in popularity. That's quite an achievement for any show let alone one that appears on PBS. I, of course, was an ardent fan of the show.

Then came more shows and books from Sagan and along the way he touched on a subject that is quite taboo to scientists--religion. Scientists are often among the first to eschew religion and yet Sagan would make the case that science and religion are not enemies and need not be mutually exclusive.

He finally won me over in one of his books when he went on at great length to explain his own theories on religion. He pointed out that in his view, it seemed quite hard to discount a higher power when it came to the universe we live in--that it couldn't all have just popped into existence with such incredible balance and complexity. He once said, "The idea that God is an over-sized white male with a flowing beard, who sits in the sky and tallies the fall of every sparrow is ludicrous. But if by 'God,' one means the set of physical laws that govern the universe, then clearly there is such a God." This would open the door and then he'd qualify it with statements like, "This God is emotionally unsatisfying... it does not make much sense to pray to the law of gravity."

However, he also went much further by explaining that, to him, there always seemed to be a higher power at play in the universe. Where he would draw the line is in our role in the whole experience. He felt that ours represented just a tiny fraction of the whole. He believed that it is simply ridiculous to suggest that our meager capabilities could allow us to comprehend, even remotely, the plans behind such a force. In fact, he would say that it would be plain arrogance for anyone to state that they had the ultimate answer and path toward enlightenment. In this belief I became a convert.

It has always struck me that people want to be seen as having a central role in the workings of the universe. It is, in my view, a weakness of humanity that we must cast ourselves in the leading roles of this monumental story. To me it seems quite clear that whatever shape God inhabits that it is beyond our comprehension to even begin to contemplate the variables involved. It's not only beyond our capabilities to conceive of them but also best to simply state that we have no idea, admit it to one another and just move on in our mutual wonder of the whole puzzle that is life.

It is for this and other writings and acceptances on my part that I began to think of myself as a Saganist. I found it interesting that at a picnic one day with my father I mentioned this perspective only to find that he too had been coming to the same conclusion for himself. He said that he'd come to think of Sagan as his own personal Pope. Sadly, to this day, we seem to be the only two stated converts to this unofficial "religion". Frankly, that's fine with me. It works for me and until such time as I find a better path, Saganism is a path I can follow willingly. It doesn't demand that I attend a service, donate to a cause, sing, dance, genuflect or anything similar. It doesn't require a major leap of faith. The only calling it makes to me is to recognize that I'm experiencing it--that I am lucky to have even the smallest of roles at the very end of the longest list of credits conceivable. And in that I find contentment.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

This weekend found us at my favorite theater to see, "Hellboy II: The Golden Army". Nevermind that I never saw the first Hellboy (though I did catch a few minutes of it at the gym) or thought that the concept sounded ludicrous. Forget all that because this movie comes to us from the mind and skill of Guillermo del Torro. This guy is quickly becoming my favorite director/producer. Unfortunately I realized too late that he was responsible for the first incarnation of this tale or I would have seen it. Everything else I've seen from this guy is just tremendous even when they only stick his name on it because it looks like something he might do.

Even with that I really didn't expect much and yet we had a great time. The story is typical for a comic book hero. It's entirely ridiculous. The military in 1944 finds a creature that comes from Hell and raises him here just as if he's a typical 1950's kid except that he's virtually indestructible, would have large horns (except that he constantly shaves down off), a huge right hand and is completely red.

If you can get past that you're in for a treat. The movie tells a great comic book story and manages to even make you laugh out loud several times along the way. I enjoyed most of the characters in it and look forward to another future installment.

Can January Get Here Fast Enough?

Please, someone do something. I'm to a point where I'm starting to think Dick Cheney or the sponge below my sink would make a better President than George W. Bush.

What now you ask? Our glorious leader left the G8 conference by "joking" with the other leaders. He said, while grinning in only that evil/retarded way that he can and punching the air (adding credence to the retarded part of the equation), "Good-bye from the world's largest polluter."

I don't even know what to say about that one.

Great Adventure Comes Close

Yesterday I hit the Six Flags park near us called Great Adventure along with three friends. Great Adventure has the title of "largest amusement park in the world" though I'm still not quite sure how that gets defined. Other parks I've been in certainly feel larger (Disney) but maybe that doesn't qualify.

Anyway, thanks in large part to the economy and gas prices, the cost of going to Great Adventure has dropped like a rock. Using a promotional code four of us were able to get in all for the price of a child which has also already been reduced by the aforementioned impact of the economy.

The park has had it's own roller coaster history. It's had great periods, iffy periods and downright fatal periods. For much of its existence it's been plagued by poor management resulting in mis-managed patron planning, dirty parks, understaffing, bad traffic management, overpriced (even for amusement parks) concessions along with other problems. This trip was mostly positive.

We got to the park before opening with the goal of trying to hang in as close to closing as possible. While, for some this might seem a breeze, I've found that it can be a challenge. Long waits in hot lines, fighting the crowds, the impact of the rides and other things can zap your energy to such a degree that by 6pm you're looking to get the hell out of Dodge.

We'd pre-printed our tickets so we were able to blow right by the ticket line. Thankfully it wasn't long anyway which was a good sign that the park wouldn't be too busy. I've been there on busy days that resulted in our being there all day and getting on two rides. That's no fun for anyone.

Once past security and in we waited for the full park to open. I took the mantle of laying out our itinerary as each of my friends hadn't been to Great Adventure and weren't big park go'ers to begin with. However, each of them were more than willing to try anything which is a must for coasters--especially at Great Adventure.

We headed first to Kingda Ka which holds the title as the world's tallest and fastest coaster. It's just over 400' in height and launches you nearly 130 mph in 3.5 seconds. You rocket down the rails and then catapult 90 degrees straight up before turned downward for a straight-down drop. You finish off at high speed over a hump before returning to the station. It's quite a rush.

We decided to go for the front seats which means we'd have to break into two groups of two. I got on with Marnee while Mike and Luke waited for the next train. We road it and returned only to find Mike and Luke still waiting for the next train to materialize. Kingda Ka is in a constant state of repair it seems. While they waited Marnee and I headed over to the next ride.

Thankfully the wait wasn't too bad and Mike and Luke got on. Everyone universally loved the coaster and I had concerns that nothing else would measure up to it for them. However, due to its popularity it was best to knock it out right off or risk standing in a huge line for it later.

We then hit an old favorite, The Great American Scream Machine. In years past this was a marque coaster. When it was new it was silky smooth but age has made it a bit rickety. It also looks dated and under-maintained. The trains are really weathered and in need of replacements that are likely never to happen. It's still a fun ride and offers some thrills that nothing else in the park matches.

After that we hit the always intersting Superman: Ultimate Flight coaster. This is a suspended coaster with a twist. You sit in it and when the restraint is put down (over your shoulders) you notice that your feet also get restrained. Then the floor drops out and the car rotates so that you're now laying face down towards the ground. That's how you go through the ride--flying like Superman (sort of). This ride is a mixed bag for me. It's too short and the lines are often horribly long made worse by a really bad and boring line corral. However, it too has some twists that make it extremely unique. There's nothing like laying face down and then getting flipped upside-down onto your back to fly through an inversion on this coaster. Then there are the dips that take you seemingly head-first and within inches of the ground.

To finish off this section of the park we went over to the 3D theater for a chance to see their new 3D show which replaces the Spongebob show that's been here previously. This one was a bust. The 3D effect is marred and it's now really only enteraining for young kids. Sitting in chairs that bounce you around-unconvincingly-has grown old quick.

We then headed off to ride El Toro. I've had a bad history with this new wooden coaster. I've tried to ride it a total of four times previously failing in every attempt. I've gotten to the very front of the line only to be turned back and have, more than once, gotten onto the ride and actually started up the first hill only to have it stopped requiring us to climb out of the cars and walk down the hill. This trip seemed to have the the same fate in store for us. We waited and waited and finally we got in and made it through the whole ride. It was worth the wait. El Toro has an amazing number of surprises for a wooden coaster. It features the second steepest drop for a wooden coaster (eclipsed just this year) at 76 degrees. Coaster enthusiasts rank this coaster as number 1 and it's easy to see why. The key spot on this train is the back. You want it. Do all you can to keep the restraints loose* and you'll be rewarded with more air time over hills than you can imagine. It's pretty intense.

We then went over to the venerable Rolling Thunder coaster. This used to be something but its best days are long gone and I think this might have been my last ride on it. It's just not fun anymore and isn't worth the jarring you take on it.

It was then time to go hit the log flume and cool off. I love splashing on a log flume much to the chagrin of two of the four of us. Sorry guys. For me the log flume is about getting wet. GA's log flume is pretty crappy as log flumes go. It's stuck in a 70's design that was neat in 1970 and not much later. It'd be great to see them tear this one down and replace it with something dramatic like Splash Mountain at Disneyworld.

We crossed the park to check out the dull Skull Mountain coaster--an indoor coaster that could be interesting but has never gotten the right attention. We only really rode this as a matter of completeness and to kill time before a show.

We checked out a kid-oriented dolphin show. It was cute but sort of bland. The dolphin arena is showing major signs of neglect. They used to host amazing diving displays and Sea World-worthy animal shows here but now they're all pretty limited in scope.

We then checked out my favorite coaster in the park (and one of my favorites anywhere)--Nitro. Nitro has high regard in the coaster community and after riding it you'll know why. it's not all that tall (but tall enough) and not all that fast (but more than fast enough) and doesn't feature any theming but none of that matters. The ride just impresses at every drop and turn. The seats are incredibly open adding to the thrill. You'll experience a hammerhead turn, a double helix and six awesome camelbacks. We ended up riding this three or four times. All of us universally put it at the top of the list.

After Nitro we rode Batman. This coaster was interesting the first time I road it and not really since. I hate the queue for it as much of it is inside a long upward stairwell that gets insanely hot in the summer and smells badly when lines are long. This coaster just beats the crap out of you. Nothing in the park loosens the head more than this thing.

We then tried to get on the newest coaster in the park-Dark Knight. This is a new indoor wild mouse-type coaster. However, the line was overly long and never relented so we gave it a pass for this trip making it the only coaster we didn't ride.

We finished up the first-runs with on old favorite--Medusa. Medusa used to be special but now has aged badly. What used to be a totally smooth ride is now laden with rough spots that detract from the fun. It's also weathered heavily and has been stuck in a corner of the park away from everything else.

In the end we pretty much reached the goal of closing out the park heading out the doors as the finale parade was heading down the main strip. A count showed us hitting 15 rides for the day which means that we got our money's worth out of it and then some. The friends had a blast and I think I converted them into full-on coaster fans. I'm really proud of the approach they all took to the day and we managed to fly through it after a night of limited sleep.

*If you follow this recommendation you do so at your own risk. Safety measures exist for a reason.

The Anatomy of Desire

Forgive me for my commentary,
Uttered for a beneficiary.

For the sake of the voluptuary,
I offer up this corollary.


Let's start out with the ordinary,
And admit we've all done solitary.

For those whose partners were imaginary,
The euphoria will be quite momentary.

While searching for some sanctuary,
Teens intercourse vehiculary.

Mates fantasize about the legendary.
With some others it's just necessary.

The puritans are customary,
All they do is missionary.

Writers being literary,
Do they do it stationary?

For most it's always voluntary,
Unless holed up in a penitentiary.

Leaving the house not on your itinerary?
Tech brings porn to the sedentary.

Let others debate what's discretionary,
Tricks pay... For her it's just monetary.

Some must have what's ancillary,
Bondage--Oooh, restrictionary.

Starved lovers delight in culinary,
Sated and spent atop confectionary.

Some relish an intermediary,
Ménage à trois' societary.

For some it's all quite urinary,
Golden showers. Are they sanitary?

We've heard about the seminary,
And what goes down the Vicary.

When foreplay's an obituary,
It's likely to end in the mortuary.

And if you find this all unsavory,
Reflect those involving veterinary.


What's erotic and extraordinary?
In the end--simply arbitrary.

The face? It's all hereditary.
Skin color is just pigmentary.

Eyes, of course, are visionary.
An athlete's legs? Quite functionary.

What I find most salivary,
Will manifest vocabulary.

For it's a carnal cavitary-
Your Ucipital Mapillary.

Electric Cars Are The Answer

Everyone is going around and around in a typical political game of arguing the points but not solving anything.

Oil prices are going to fluctuate, but like everything else, will continue to go up over the long run. It seems obvious at this point that it's bound to go up faster than most everything else. The problem is that our use in the global market will continue to diminish percentage-wise giving us less pull over time.

I see people talking about hydrogen as a solution or other types of fuel. The bottom line with those approaches is that they're not going to happen anytime soon. That is they're not going to happen in the next 10-20 years. The main reason they're not going to happen is that, for them to happen, 100 million of us have to change plus the infrastructure has to entirely change.

Electric cars don't have this problem. You could, if they were available, buy an electric car tomorrow, plug it in, have it charge up and drive it away without much of a change on your side. People talk about mileage limitations with electric cars. I see people mentioning numbers as low as 60 miles. What are these people smoking? The electric cars of the 1980's had ranges of 300 miles and more. Plus batteries have made huge strides since then. As for long trips that's pretty simple. You drive for several hours and then stop to get a bite to eat and plug into an outlet at the restaurant (everyone can be in the energy business). When the bill comes it would include an entry for the energy the car just used. Simple enough. Off you go.

The great part about an electric car is that it wouldn't require 100 million people to dramatically change. Nor would it require huge infrastructure changes. Outlets are pretty easy to deal with. Additionally, while electric means energy it means energy from any source. We can leave it to the energy companies (including the oil companies) to come up with what they power the grid with. Let them figure out if it's biofuels, solar, wind, nuclear, etc. We'll be somewhat energy agnostic. As long as it ends at an outlet we can be happy.

The other nice part about an all-electric car is that it means you won't need to spend a lot on vehicle maintenance. No more oil changes, filter changes, etc. Most of what you spend money on today will go away. Brakes and tires will still be there but that will be the bulk of it.

The one trouble will be the lost revenue for car dealers which will only make them even more shark-like than they are today.

I'm ready. Just give me the options.